Well, today is the start of Cubs ticket sales, which means the absolute hell that is the Virtual Waiting Room (I exaggerate, but not by a whole lot). The good news is, I've got myself a date with Wrigley this summer.
Now, if you've never been to Wrigley, you may think you know about it from the television - and to a large extent, you really do. Most of the stuff that you don't see on the TV is the part of Wrigley that you really don't want to see. The concourse is something of a travesty, really - it's dark, grey and lifeless, and the steel trough urinals are a wild throwback, probably to a 1970s correctional facility.
Now, it's been a while since I've been to see a game with our local Low A team, the Quad Cities Angels Cubs Angels River Bandits Swing River Bandits, but I'm pretty sure that Municipal Park John O'Donnell Stadium Modern Woodmen Park has better amenities in the bandstand than Wrigley does, based on hazy childhood memories. (This could be related to the fact that they have adopted a more liberal naming rights policy than the Cubs have.)
But when you actually get out to the seating and gaze upon the field, well... there's a kind of magic.
And I can hear you now: "But Colin, you're a sabermetrician! How do you know anything about magic? I thought you people just looked at spreadsheets!"
And that's just silly. Of course I know about magic, you fools! I read all about it in my Dungeon Master's Guide!
Wrigley Field is probably some sort of high-level fascination spell, probably a custom one made with epic spell seeds. (It's probably persisted as a sort of wondrous item; I'd actually be willing to wager that Wrigley itself is some sort of a major artifact.) I'd bet the Will Save DC to avoid being fascinated by Wrigley is at least a 40. I'm not really up on my epic-level spell creation, so if any of you are more well-versed in these matters let me know.
(For you pedants out there: Yes, I know that's the 2nd Edition DMG. Yes, I know I cited the 3.5 Edition rules for fascination. Yes, I know the rules for fascination (and magic in general, really) are in the Player's Handbook, not the DMG. I just want to warn you right now that I've contingencied an Empowered Maximized Ennervation spell that casts itself on any nitpickers that pop up in the comments. We cool? We cool.)
Labels: Baseball, Chicago Cubs, Dungeons and Dragons
