The Other Fifteen

It seems that Plaxico Burress has upset more than a few in the media by guaranteeing the Giants would win the upcoming Super Bowl.

Puh-lease. It's the Super Bowl. I'm excited about it and I'm so far away from being a pro athlete I still have scars I sustained playing flag football. You mean to tell me that Tom Brady was going to sleepwalk his way through this game, but thought better of it because Plaxico Burress talked to some reporters?

Listen to me carefully, folks: the Patriots will be fully and completely motivated to play this Sunday if Bill Belicheck has to kidnap their families and hold them hostage, and that is entirely something Bill Belicheck is willing to do.

Far better that these guys actually say something interesting before the big game - otherwise we have to listen to the same pablum for the next six days or so. Seriously, who talks like this?

"I can't think about that right now. I just have to take it one burger at a time."

"Tony over in accounting is a real gamer. He shows up every day, no matter what, ready to give his best to auditing expense accounts."

"I guess the defense attorney just wanted it more, that's all."

"Individual accomplishments don't mean anything. It's nice having the pay raise and all, but I'm just really happy I could help my software development team meet their quarterly goals."

Yeesh. Spare me, please!

Labels: Football, Media, Super Bowl